Pressure


I’m so proud to be an instructor. It took a lot of work and sacrifice to get here. I sacrificed time with loved ones, expended lots of energy into studying and got little sleep for almost a month. I was glad to do it with my eye on the prize.

Now that I have it in my hands though, its sinking in. This is big. A lot of responsibility and liability. And I’ve been apprehensive about taking it on. I’ve had the best training, I know that. My instructors have been great and super encouraging. They believe in me but I was having trouble believing in me.

Today, I was able to get in a dive at Shark’s Cove. It’s rare to have an oportunity where the surf is down enough to get in there this time of year. I was excited at the prospect of getting in a dive there yesterday, though I couldn’t really have told you why yesterday.

What today turned out to be is exactly what I needed. It’s like slipping into a comfy pair of sweats and sitting by the fire when it’s snowing like crazy. It’s comfortable. Today wasn’t 100′ of visibility and we didn’t see a million really cool little critters. It’s not the season for that yet. But it was the shot in the arm that I needed.

As I led our dive I could feel some of that confidence returning. I found myself thinking “I can do this” and “I am doing this”. I was leading a dive and I didn’t have to think about it. I knew exactly where I was and that left my mind free to think about other things like the safety of the other divers and the cool things in front of me. It quieted some of the self-doubt I’ve been feeling and restored a little of that confidence I’ve been searching for.

Unlike any place I have ever encountered before, people in Hawaii believe in everything having a larger purpose and every situation being designed by destiny. Perhaps it’s the eastern influences here. I had that affirmed for me today big time. Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Allah or Buddha we all agree that the lord provides for us in our time of need. The last week I have been struggling to get past a block in the path and today I can see the light on the other side. Exactly when I was questioning everything is when I am shown that this is the right path. And for that I am thankful.

So tomorrow, I will move forward. Perhaps at a slower more cautious pace, but forward none the less. I am hopeful that before I know it I will be the one in a position to encourage someone else walking the path I have been on for the last year. And I’m thankful for those who have gone before me and for their encouragement. Because without them, I wouldn’t be living the dream I am today. My faith has been restored!

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