A little bit of a personal note

I’ve been enjoying my adventures immensely.  But I’ve also been struggling with a neck ailment.  I feel this is relevent here because today my doctor told me it’s not going away, not ever. 

So now just as I have with Hawaii, I have to learn to embrace it.  I’m going to have to accept that it’s going to flare and it’s going to limit my ability.  No one likes to be told these things, but at least it’s something.  It’s an answer, because until today I guess I never asked the right questions.  And that was, “will I ever be completely free of this”.  Even though the answer is no, it can be managed.  I need patience to let myself heal. 

I can’t help but wonder though why now?  Because it seems interesting timing in that I am learning to stop and smell the roses as Jen said so well.  And at the same time I need to learn that I’m going to have limitations forever and that I have to take that in stride too.  I’m learning from this place to take each day as it comes and embrace it. 

Had you told me a year ago that I would have this impairment forever I would have been really mad and I would have fought against it.  But because of this island life I have learned to embrace, I accept it.  I need to learn to work around it, rest when I need to and that’s just the way it is. 

And on that note I’m going to be going to a psychiatrist to learn relaxation techniques but I am also thinking of looking into Tai Chi.  Another thing I would have passed over a year ago.  There’s a strong Asian presence here and I can’t help but notice that this stuff works for a lot of people.  And here it’s more obvious. 

So lastly, tomorrow is our hike up in Poamoho so I am looking forward to that greatly.  Aloha everyone!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jenkakio
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 19:56:16

    I’m sorry to hear about your neck. I’m glad that you are starting to accept it. There is nothing wrong with accepting it, because this ailment doesn’t define you. I don’t see you as the neck hurtin’ Hiking In Paradise. No! I see you as the adventurous mother of two Army wife, who probably loves Hawai’i more than I do.

    As far as Tai Chi, go for it. I can’t think of any place on the top of my head, but I know there are group that meets at Ala Moana Beach park and Kapiolani Beach Park.

    Thank you for being so candid. I just love it!


    • hikinginparadise
      Nov 05, 2011 @ 16:35:33

      Thank you Jen for the kind words. On the trail today I was talking to my hiking buddy and we were discussing Olomana. I’ve seen pictures and videos and there are ropes that you hold onto to get to the top. So basically I said that I won’t ever really be able to do it. If you really look at it I haven’t been able in 10 years. I’ve long known that my neck doesn’t tollerate a heavy load. But the other side of that is this….I’m too stubborn to let a little pain stop me. So I’ll wind up doing it and living with the consequences because you only live once and I plan to live on my terms not someone elses.


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